I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
