So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize