dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
A bitchslap is in order.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
