Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Let's get the cat blown out
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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