Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
