I want to make a zoo with you.
he puts the penis in happiness.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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