My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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