I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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