IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
