Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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