So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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