yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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