No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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