Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
