Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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