Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
