Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
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My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
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You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.