You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after