I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
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I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
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I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.