Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
