Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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