Duck Duck Cougar?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
