I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize