david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize