i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
