she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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