hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
