Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
