you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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