this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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