I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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