Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize