remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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