They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
