Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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