How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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