youre lurking in front of me
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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