Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
