Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
