his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
