I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?