she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.