Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.