thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
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