you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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