Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
