I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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