That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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