Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Randomize
