Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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