This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
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Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
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Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i think we sleep fucked last night...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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