you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
