I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
