Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.

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(850): View more from Florida

this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen

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(805): View more from California

found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.

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(706): View more from Georgia

I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.

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(602): View more from Arizona

It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?

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