Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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