Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
