you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
