I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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