Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Can you bring me the toilet please
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
