I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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